Birdemic: Shock And Terror – Review


Okay. Um — wow. I’m having trouble on where to begin here. Okay, here we go. Let me catch everyone up who does not keep up with cinema news. Terrible movies are growing more and more popular ever since Tommy Wiseau’s opus “The Room” debut in 2003. “The Room” is widely known and considered to be the best “worst” movie ever made, with no plot, terrible acting and an overall excruciating pace. You get pleasure out of showing it off to your friends and developing drinking games out of it.

I’m surprised to say that “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” trumps “The Room” on every imaginable level as the worst movie ever made. This movie makes Wiseau’s latest look like a masterpiece of epic proportions, let’s break this movie down.

The “plot” is a hodgepodge of propoganda and cut corners. It centers around Rod and Natalie and we watch as their relationship unfolds. Mid way through the movie, EXPLODING EAGLES begin attacking California. Mainly gas stations and people in cars, global warming is a theme. That’s right — exploding eagles. It really comes out of no where, but once it does — my goodness. It get aweful.

The birds look like stock footage clip art of eagles flapping their wings and squaking, the birds are amazingly bad. Not a single “real” bird is seen throughout, it’s mind blowing how bad they look. Even Hitchcock’s “The Birds” looked better and that was decades ago, this pile of poo was made 3 years ago. Wow.

The acting is abismal (and that’s being nice), the actor’s force through the poorly written dialogue with no conviction or emotion. It’s hilarious to watch, some of the extras don’t even seem to know they’re in a movie.

Design wise, this is incredible. Not good, incredibly cringe worthy. It makes me wonder how this movie was even released, it feels unfinished. Let me be more specific. The sound “dips” in and out in every scene and wind is louder than the dialogue. At a few points the sound completely cuts out and is completely silent. What? How did that slip by anyone?

I understand how hard it can be to make a film with very little money, but come on. The director could have been creative to find ways around the money issue, but they didn’t even try to hide the flaws. They just didn’t care. Example: It is supposed to be sort of post-apacolyptic, our main cast pulls onto the side of the road to make it look desolate. But in the next shot you can see dozens of cars driving, they couldn’t have moved the camera a touch to the right?

I’m going to break down the pros and cons of this movie in an easy to read list:

Cons:
Terrible sound quality
Aweful visual effects
Bad acting
Bad writing
Bad editing
Disgusting direction
Laughable camera work
Green screened locations (poorly)
It’s message is shoved in your face

Pros:
It’s 90 minutes
Invite your friends and enjoy the laugh riot

Let me just say that I understand how hard it is and I applaud the attempt, I know what they were trying to accomplish. A scary thought provoking enviormental thriller in the vein of The Birds. Problem is, it accomplished none of this.

It also suffers from lazy camera work with a combination of poor editing. Some shots go on for extended periods without any action on screen whatsoever. You just sit there — you say “okay, let’s move on”.

20 minutes into the movie is said to my friends, “This can’t be real. No movie is this bad.” But it’s true. A movie can be “THAT” bad and that movie is Birdemic: Shock and Terror. A movie so bad it must be seen to be believed, my review here cannot do it justice.

This flick has garnered midnight screenings and a large cult following because of it’s sh*tiness. I guess they got the recognition they deserves, even if it’s not the status they wanted.

1/10

EXTRA FUN FACT:
A sequel is being shot and preped to be released next year, entitled “Birdemic 2: The Ressurection In 3D — not kidding.