I Know Who Killed Me – 2007 – Review

Literally unwatchable. A movie that fails on every level. I had the misfortune of seeing this a while back and finally decided to vent my anger. I Know Who Killed Me is a fascinating beast, one must see it to believe.

IKWKM (I’m sick of typing the name) stars Lindsay Lohan (Before He Career Died) as a dual role. Which means we get a double does of Lohan, much like The Parent Trap. She plays Aubrey, a young high school syudent who musteriously dissapears only to resurface two weeks later with the personality of another woman — Dakota Moss. She then spends the entire film trying to figure this whole mess out, who abducted who and so on. The plot makes little sense and only raises more questions than it answers.

So it turns out (SPOILERS IF ANYONE CARES) that she has a long lost twin who’s been kidnapped. And she is being killed, so Dakota (Or Aubrey) needs to find her before that happens. I know, I’m rolling my eyes just writing this. So throughout the movie, Dakota begins developing wounds which are being inflicting on Aubrey. So I guess being twins means you die when the other does, that kinda sucks.

This begins a series of ridiculous plot points and absurd dialogue — dialogue so bad that I laughed out loud. It’s a good time. Let me give you a few samples, when Aubrey/Dakota resurfaces in a ditch, she is missing her leg. When the person finds her, she says “Are you okay?” What? Of course she isn’t, her leg is gone!

Sample two. While Dakota is on a bus riding along with all the passengers, her finger falls off. That’s right, one of the other passengers tells her elevate the wound. Huh? HER FINGER FELL OFF! If that’s not bad enough she responds “People get cut, that’s life.” Oh — my — God.

Not to mention the fact that she gets robotic limbs to replace the ones she lost, that’s fine and dandy — but when she’s running from the bad guy — her leg runs out of batteries and she can’t walk. Um, excuse me. What? Pirates aparently had a better system of fake limbs. Wow. The list goes on and on, but I’ll let it die. Pun intended.

It’s directed by Chris Sivertson, who spends most of the movie trying to be cryptic and mysterious — but it just comes off as lazy story telling. I feel as if this movie comes off a protentious, but for no good reason. Kind of like a guy wearing an Ed Hardy shirt, what’s the point. The movie has no idea what it is, horror? Drama? Thriller? This confusion only leads to frustration from the audience.

Key objects are highlighted is hyper blue, not sure why. It feels like these scenes would be important or elements for the audeince to remember, but the poor writing makes things predictable. While some of this movie is incredibly dumbed down, the rest of it tries to be too artistic for the sake of art.

IKWKM holds the record for most Razzie wins in a single year, sweeping them. So apparently I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Typically I can find something good to say about any terrible film, this is no different. Let me see — um — okay, got it. Lohan plays a stripper and we actually see her dance. Not too shabby — wait. She doesn’t get naked?!? How is she supposed to make money? Completely unrealistic.

With a convoluted plot, horrible acting, abysmal direction and random nonsensical writing — I recommend you see this. Why? Because it is the best unintentional comedy of the decade. See for yourself.