Interview with comedian Jay Oakerson

Jay Oakerson is easily one of the coolest people I met the whole day at Mayhemfest… It didn’t hurt either, that he just so happens to be on one of my favorite television shows, Z Rock. Jay’s humor is crude and unforgiving, and he without a doubt offends just about everyone he runs into, but once you get past his abrasiveness and usually sexually orientated humor, he’s really just a big teddy bear. I had a blast hanging out with him at Mayhem, and really hope that he makes his way to Michigan again sometime soon!

Amanda: What made you decide to change things up, and start touring with metal bands, rather than doing a comedy tour?

Jay: I’ve been doing stand up for 12 years, and I’ve just been starting to get more known from Z Rock, and my ½ hour set on Comedy Central. I kind set it up like this, seeing as to how I’m coming from a rock show, like that was sort of my background. Just this type of crowd, very specifically Mayhemfest, and almost always when I go to any metal show, I’ll be surprised because I’ll get recognized a lot, and so I really try and tap into that market. I know that Mayhemfest is one of the few festivals that doesn’t have a comedy tent.

Amanda: I have to say, it’s cool to actually see you hosting Mayhem this time around.

Jay: Well I proposed the whole thing; I attended the Jagermeister tour before this tour, and was on the road for seven weeks. That just kind of fell in my lap, but with Mayhem I proposed to them about possibly having a comedy tent set up or something, and they came with the offer, of just going up and kind of just shang-hi the crowd, just do it straight up, so I was like, yea fuck it, let’s go for it.

Amanda: How does this compare to just doing stand up in a small club?

Jay: It’s not a very active set with the crowd here, and generally I like to be intimate, like I sit on the stage generally and do my comedy. I also can’t really try new jokes too often, not that I’m sticking to a script, but I know the jokes that’ll work in this atmosphere, because I’m doing it every night. I try and mix it up as much as I can.

Amanda: So it’s definitely a change up from what you’re used to then, right?

Jay: Yea, I pick my battles- I like the heckling, because when people heckle I’m usually pretty quick witted about it. I pick my battles here because the people on the lawn have no idea what the shit head in the front row is wearing, as I’m picking him apart, but still, it’s a lot of fun without a doubt. Just being in this atmosphere is great; I get off the stage and Rob Zombie goes on after me. It’s insane; these are people I pay money to see. I had a moment with Jonathan Davis on the Jager tour; he was playing me some of his music on his bus, and I think my face was looking weird or something, and he said something to me about it; he asked me what’s up, and I was like, ‘oh nothing, but you know what?’ I paid 100 dollars to see you before, and now we’re shootin’ the shit on your tour bus at 3a.m. in the morning. It’s very surreal, but then I go ‘but I’m a dude, and we can hang, and I’m not going to make it weird for you, and I’m not going to stare the WHOLE time we hang, but in my mind, I’m just like WOW.’

Amanda: What ever made you decide to get into stand-up comedy in the first place?

Jay: was always a fan of it growing up. Like a HUGE fan of it, then when I graduated from high school a friend of mine told me I should give it a shot, since I was always such a fan and randomly happened upon an open mic, and I started going and watching for a couple of weeks. I chickened out on going on, but then after about 6 weeks I gave it a shot, and was like, WHOA; and I dropped out of college, and then I didn’t do good again for about 3 months.

Amanda: So you didn’t do any training or go take any kind of classes or anything like that?

Jay: No, I tell people you really can’t, it’s a waste of money, it’s a scam that comics do, because comics are broke, well most of them, so they have comedy teaching classes, with shitty comics who try and teach. There’s nothing to teach, I mean there’s advice, but that’s about it. I’ve been asked to teach a class before, and the reason they wouldn’t let me is because I said I would only teach a class to people who really wanted to become comedians, not like someone who wants to get better at public speaking, or somebody who has to sign up because of their job. I can give genuinely good advice, because I had great advice; I had great mentors. I grew up with Patrice O’Neal, and Dave Atell, who took me on the road with him for six years, opening for him everywhere in the country. He’s been really great to me. To get to learn from that kind of caliber of comic is invaluable.

Amanda: Do you personally think you’re a pretty funny guy?

Jay: Yea, you know what it is, I think I’m a good comic, I don’t think I’m the best, I just know that my confidence is that I’m a funny person, I know that I’m a funny guy. The past few days, they’ve been sending me around with a microphone, and having me just walking through the audience. Most of the funny stuff is not even when I stop to talk to them, but when it’s just me and the camera, and I just kind of narrate what’s going on, it’s hilarious.

Amanda: That’d be awesome to watch- You should make a dvd out of it or something.

Jay: Well they’ve been putting them up online everyday on youtube. If you go to the Mayhemfest website, you can easily find them all. We had a good one the other day; it was this couple, a goofy looking white couple, who had a black girl with fangs and green contacts, on a leash. We were in Virginia Beach at the time, and I said to them ‘what’s going on here?’, and she said ‘well, they’re married, and I’m on a leash’. I said ‘OH’, and as the word slave’s coming out, I realized the connotation- that it’s two white people with a black girl on a leash, and I go ‘OH I get it, so you’re their slaaaaaaaaaave’. On the video they even put the word slave (uncomfortable).

Amanda: What does your mom think of your comedy act? Does she approve?

Jay: Oh yea, she loves it- my mom’s filthy!

Amanda: So is that basically where you get it from then, do you think?

Jay: No, she’s not funny at ALL, but she has a great sense of humor though. She knows me; my mom when I first started was always the source of a lot of my comedy. My mom’s young, I’m 32 now, and my mom’s 52, and my stepfather’s 50, so I had young parents growing up.

Amanda: So they’d be more the type to be hanging out at Mayhem then?

Jay: Yea, my mom did actually come to the one in Philly, as a matter of fact she was there the day this girl came up to me and told me that she could queef on command. I was like, well I have to bring that on stage, and I did. I go up there and say, ‘hey this is Heather, and she’s going to queef for you guys’, and then she grabs the microphone and says, ‘I just want to give a shout out to all my friends’ so I grabbed the microphone back, and I was like ‘nobody wants to hear your face mouth talk’.

Amanda: Well since I’m such a fan of Z Rock, I was curious if it’s ever difficult for you to play a primarily gay role on the show?

Jay: No, not at all, me and my buddies do gay jokes with each other all the time. I’m not a homophobe at all. It was great actually, because it gave me a lot of room to be funny. Season one was really good because it was before me and Paulie genuinely knew each other.

Amanda: So I can imagine it was a bit uncomfortable then?

Jay: For Him! I’m a comedian, so I got it, but Paulie’s just a singer in the band.

Amanda: Do you have any kind of dirt on any of the other cast members of Z Rock, or maybe some that you have yourself?

Jay: Oh yea, no I’m a creep, I have all kinds of filthy interests.

Amanda: Like what?

Jay: I don’t know, like what regarding, like porn?

Amanda: Anything in general, any quirky little fetishes or secrets you don’t want anyone to know about.

Jay: I think I’ve said them all. I think I tell them all on stage; I really have no secrets, because anything that I would deem interesting enough to keep a secret, I would want to immediately tell on stage. The first time I ever did something where I was that blatant, where I didn’t really think about what the crowd would think, was when I was waiting to go to a comedy club in time square, this was a couple of years ago, and while I was waiting, there was this porn store I was looking around in just killing time, and a girl walked up to me, and long story short she basically told me she was a hooker, which I was not interested in getting, but was just curious as to what a porn store hooker would cost. She was like ‘I gotta make sure you’re not a cop’, and she said that she had to touch my dick, and reaches down my pants and grabbed my dick and started literally tugging on it, and then she said I had to touch a tittie . She whips out this crazy looking tittie, and she told me what it costs and I was like, OK.

Amanda: So that’s the official ‘I’m not a cop’ move then?’ I guess I wasn’t aware of that. How much was the going rate.

Jay: 50 bucks. I was like, yea maybe later…or not. She came back over to me like 5 minute later and said you’re really nice, so I think I should tell you something. I asked her what, and she basically told me in not so many words, that she was a guy. After that I left, and had to go on stage, and the first thing I told everyone was ‘well everyone, I’m gay’. I was like, ‘well, let me explain’. A lot of people wouldn’t confess something like that in their lives; they would rather just bury it, and would never talk about it. It’s like, at the end of the day I think people generally especially in comedy I’ve found, all of your deficiencies and flaws become your virtues. For every person who’s like ‘OH you’re a faggot’ someone else is going to be like ‘dude that happened to me man’. People connect more to your awkward situations, your failures, and you honest situations. It’s never interesting if you’re telling a story about you beating someone up in a fight. It’s much more interesting to tell someone about you losing, or just how scared you were going into it generally, or how you talked shit in the fight. It’s more fun to tap into people’s insecurities and failures, much more than like how awesome you are, and show your abs and shit. There have actually been a few comedians that I’ve told them that they’re too handsome for comedy. I have a buddy of mine who’s a good looking dude, in really good shape; We have a youtube video where we’re making fun of the ‘qweedo sensation’, and my buddy behind me, is a comedian, good looking dude; when I first met him all his comedy was like, I banged this chick the other day. I remember like a year or so into our friendship, he was telling me as a kid he had severe OCD, and slight turret’s, so he would make these noises, with all these squeaks and pops, and ticks, but he’s doing very well now. I told him to start getting involved in that, there are people that understand that more so than his other style, and because it almost explains why you are how you are now. Now you’re this vein, cocky, weird guy, because you were a little freak running around as a kid.

Amanda: Basically like he earned the right to be that way.

Jay: Exactly, and he’s succeeding with that, you know, and he’s on television now, and when I met him he would’ve had none of that. Three months into our friendship he asked me what I thought he should do differently, and it’s helped him out quite a bit.

Amanda: Well I have to ask you this question, because I asked the guys of ZO2 the same one, and I want to see what you can come up with – If you had to be a porn star tomorrow what would your name be?

Jay: Well, I just always go with the formula, and mine’s hilarious- You know the formula?

Amanda: I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.

Jay: It’s a fun game; your first name would be your first pet’s name, and your last name would be the street you grew up on.

Amanda: So what would yours be then?

Jay: Brandy Brockton, which is great if you’re a chick.

Amanda: haha nice!

Amanda: Alright, one last question before you go on stage- If you could dig up one dead person and bring them back to life for a day, who would it be?

Jay: Jim Morrison.

Amanda: Awesome!